Hi, I saw you from across the room and wow, you look stunning in that red dress. Do you have a boyfriend?
An approach this confident is not for the faint of heart! The problem with this opener is that it can lead to immediate rejection. But never fear- it can be done, and done smoothly. A simple reference to your ex, or to your dating life, will likely elicit the same information. I moved to the city a year ago, to live with my girlfriend. My friends say I might as well be single. I live with my boyfriend too! I'm not sure how to talk about this to her though because this is exactly how I feel. What me and her right now emotionally is no different from a boyfriend girlfriend and I guess what I realize now is that I don't mind the title.
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This all seems a bit confusing to me, but I think whether or not you can clearly lable yourself as "technically single" the better way to look at this is whether or not you're available. Since she's not going to stick around if you hook up with someone else, and it sounds like you want to keep what you've got with her, then you're unavailable at the moment.
Do you feel like it needs to be defined? You two know where you stand with each other, and for some people that's enough, and for other's they really need the lable of Exclusively Dating, or In a Relationship. If you need a relationship that's easily defined or labled then this might not be the girl for you. Also if that's the case you should probably have a talk with her to explain that you want more and you two both decide where to go from there.
Well after thinking over it for the day like I don't really NEED to define it because we are on the same page. I just don't know where to go from here if in the future if I want something more? My only advice as far as that goes is that if you decide that you want something more to sit down and explain that to her.
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She may decide she's ready to commit to more, or she may not, but getting it out in the open will be for the best. Sounds to me like you're having a difference of worldviews. In yours, 'dating' means 'relationship', with everything that entails feelings, commitment, etc. In that case, the word 'single' isn't really a misnomer - she considers herself emotionally available to be in a Relationship. Basically, quit confusing sex with feelings. They can be different things, and mean different things. Sounds like it might be useful to have a discussion about definitions. So sexually exclusive is basically the same as her telling me "there's nothing stoping you from hooking up with other people, just that I wouldn't date you anymore.
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I can't answer that - only she can. Which is why this would be a good conversation to have with her, if you can approach it from an "I think we're talking past each other, and I'd like to talk more about the terms we're using so we are on the same page" in a non-confrontational or non-emotional way. Do you want to hook up with other people?
If so, the answer is clear. If not, then make it clear to her that you would like to be hers exclusively and you would hate the idea that she was looking elsewhere. Well this whole time I thought we were exclusive! I'm just not sure if that still means if I'm "technically single".
It is a label you define for yourself I think. If you think you are not single then your behaviour will support this.
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I just dont want you to get hurt so I think it is important to make your intentions and opinion very clear to her. It would be horrible for her to say "I didnt know that was how you felt" after she does something that will hurt you. When I was young I, too thought that when you were exclusive with someone you were no longer single. However, many, many, many years later I realize that for at least people my age - as long as you are not married, you are single. Even people in committed relationships but not married, are in fact, single - to people my age.
I do however remember thinking exactly the opposite when I was in my teens and early 20s. I'm a 47 year old man, if you're not married, you're single and fair game. If you're really committed, you're not going to fall for me anyway. You are not "in a relationship" and therefore a "couple" until you've sat down and had a discussion agreeing so.
Starting to date again takes courage. Get advice about knowing when you're ready to start dating, letting go of feelings from past relationships and how to meet new people.
It can be frustrating and worrying being unable to make new relationships stick. You might find that you keep starting something, only to find that it falters after a few weeks or months. Or you may have trouble meeting anyone at all. If you didn't want a relationship to end moving on can be very difficult but there's plenty you can do to stop feeling stuck. Try our tips for choosing a site, creating a profile and taking the pressure out of dating so you can build up your confidence. This can be a harder question to answer than you might think.
A reader writes into Ask Ammanda wondering whether they've fallen in love again - or whether they want to be in love so much that they're making it up. I feel like every relationship I have goes the same way. Every time the same thing happens.
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Couples who play together, stay together. Dating can be a great way of meeting and getting to know a potential partner.
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